Sick but literate: Proceedings of the hammock society

I´ve been wanting a hammock since I was in Central America a bunch of years ago.
For Swedes, a hammock is something hanging down the back of the summerhouse, from the beginning bought by the book lover of the house with the illusion that they will have lots of "me" time during the holiday to contemplate their navel and snooze the days away with a 5 pound brick (think Crime and punishment) splayed over their face. But without fail the grass need cutting, the roof mending or you get dragged in to digging up the vegetable patch against your will (that is if you even can afford to fill up the car with petrol and even get out there this year).

So the hammock is forgotten by the adults, left to feign for itself in some trees, and only enjoyed by ice cream spilling kids, who forget how great it is when they get old enough to sneak away with the neighbouring farmer´s son/daughter on secret teenage ventures.

To sum up, the hammock culture of the Swedes is suffocated before it even takes off, and until a few years ago, I was not the one to oppose that holiday labour legacy of mine.

But after sleeping in hammocks on the Pacific coast of Mexico, in the jungle of Belize and porches of Guatemala, I realized that beds are redundant. Once you learn how to move around in it, there is no end to how it can please you.

So I see no reason to wait any longer. I had a look at the cheap places like Clas Ohlson and the likes, and they do sell hammocks. But they are tiny little ones that you couldn´t even share with a barbie, and they all stubbornly put a wooden bar in each end to "open up" the hammock. Well that might make them look more appealing to the Swedes, who just want something in as close similarity to their Ikea beds as possible. But you gotta think outside the box here, cocoon is good, and can open up to whatever you want it too depending on how you move in it.

A bunch of years ago I was out at wonderful Rosenhill on Ekerö outside Stockholm, and in the midst of all the trees the hammock shop Stora famnen had set out an out-door shop, and we spent ages trying out the entire range. They might cost a whole lot more, but they are all well made and since they actually behave like a hammock is supposed to, maybe more people than just me will be born again in to the world of swingin and chillin.

Now to the problem that might be one more of the contributing reasons why Swedes have such a crap hammock culture. In our vain obsession of tanning we don´t feel its really summer if we don´t optimize all opportunities of UV exposure, and subsequently demolish all garden plants reaching above the hips. I.e. there is nowhere to hang anything. Now some companies sell metal or wooden structures which allows you the choice to position yourself in the ideal Swedish position (in the sun), or the sensible position (in the shade), but the cost a fortune, and I´m not sure I trust them entirely. Of course is also the option of hooks that can be attached to anything from walls to inner roofs, but being an eternal rent-payer, that would reqire hefty discussions with the owners of said walls.